THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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