I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
