I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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