How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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