Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the condom got lost in my hair
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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