Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
