She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
