So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize