'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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