You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
