video games are the ultimate cock blocker
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just want to make out with him forever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
