I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
