Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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