the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
