so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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