forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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