Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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