lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
