I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
