Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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