Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
