why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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