like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
