Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
