Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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