i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My balls are so social today.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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