I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
