You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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