Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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