Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
