someone get that fucking seahorse.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
