Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
