Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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