I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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