that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize