I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
