Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
