Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize