Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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