Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
