Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
