it was like eating out sand paper
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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