dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
