You can't special order awesome
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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