i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
