If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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