i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
