Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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