Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
