oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
