Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i dont even know how to be here
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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