i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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