the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Dear god my vagina.
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