Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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