I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
