gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
