Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
