I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
