if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
