You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
