So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
