now i know why i became what i already was.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
