I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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