:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
