i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
