Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
