i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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