No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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