Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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