My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize