I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
